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Godspeed, Stan Wilson

11/11/2010

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Friday, November 5, 2010

I have lost a friend, and the Soldiers Home has lost one of its brightest lights. Stan Wilson has died.

At bingo a few days ago, it hit me that I hadn’t seen Stan in a while. That’s not necessarily unusual, because he had dialysis several times a week, and lately it was wiping him out—but I did have a bad feeling.

So today my mission was to track down Stan. On my way to his room, I stopped briefly to chat with Bill Crowell, who was simply standing in the doorway of his newest room—this one, a spacious single. I told him I was looking for Stan and continued down the hallway.

Stan’s name was no longer on Stan’s door. A nurse in the hallway asked whether she could help me find someone. I was afraid to tell her, but I did.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she said. I felt a little dizzy. “Stan passed away.” He had gone to the hospital and come back, she said, but could hang on for only a couple days.

I can’t remember feeling so much sadness at one time at the Soldiers Home—for Stan and his suffering; for his children, whom he loved dearly; and, honestly (but selfishly), for not even knowing any of this was going on. (To be even more honest, that last sadness segment is tinged with guilt, and maybe even a little anger: I can’t pinpoint a single person who should have told me, but I sure wish someone had.)

As it is, I didn’t offer Stan any comfort, or friendship, or support in his final days. But over the course of our friendship, we had talked often, and we had talked meaningfully. I hope he knows I cared about him and valued his friendship. And I hope he knows I really miss him.   
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    Author
    My name is Sandy Deneau Dunham. I'm a journalist who’s worked at The Phoenix Gazette, The (Tacoma) News Tribune,  The Seattle Times, Town Hall Seattle and Pacific Lutheran University. I'm now back at The Seattle Times, as associate editor of its gorgeously glossy Pacific NW magazine. I've been a volunteer at the Washington Soldiers Home and Colony in Orting, Washington, since January 2009, and I am still a remedial videographer.   

     

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