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Special Correspondents

5/7/2011

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Thursday, April 28, 2011

Between jobs Nos. 1 and 2 and my son’s looming golf tournament, I won’t make it out to the Soldiers Home this week­—for the first time ever, I even had to miss the annual Volunteer Appreciation Lunch—but thankfully, the Soldiers Home came to me. Well, kind of.

Today I got this email from Ray McDade (subject line: “Friendship,”), who must have been reading my blog. It touched me so instantly, I didn’t know whether to smile or cry:

Dear Sandy,
Nothing would please me more than to be as close as Mike was. But we all come here to die and it isn't fair to you to build such closeness because it will break your heart.  So many people here don't speak for just that reason. I have read your article with pain.
Love and God Bless
Ray


I think I was most touched that he seemed concerned about me. Mike had said something very similar to me in the hospital—as he lay there trying to breathe, he actually apologized for putting me through hell.

I told Mike to shut up. I was a little gentler with Ray:

Dear Ray:
Thank you for this beautiful email. I already love you dearly -- I hope you know that. And as far as I'm concerned, hearts are meant to love and lose. As unpleasant as it is, pain is natural, and just proof of our capacity to care.
I'm honored to call you my friend, and I will make sure to come find you the next time I'm out. (This weekend we'll be on the Kitsap Peninsula so Carson can play in a golf tournament!)
Thank you, Ray. You are a wonderful man.
xoxoxox
--sandy


That’s not the entire email I wrote to Ray; the original last paragraph concerned my other Soldiers Home contact of the week: a very sweet voice mail from Bill Crowell. He called to tell me he was having more trouble trying to watch his video interview. He wondered whether I would please just print it out so he could read it instead. Which I found adorable, but impossible. So that’s what I told Ray:

I hope all is well with you. If you see Bill, could you please tell him I got his voice mail but haven't had time to call back? But there is no written transcript of my interview with him; just the movie on the "The Residents' Stories" page.

This was Ray’s reply, now with the subject line “Bill.”

Hello Sandy Again,
Bill thinks that I should be able to print the spoken words.
I don't think he believes me.
Ray


I knew immediately how this message made me feel: I laughed out loud. I wouldn’t trade these friendships, this closeness, for the world.
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    Author
    My name is Sandy Deneau Dunham. I'm a journalist who’s worked at The Phoenix Gazette, The (Tacoma) News Tribune,  The Seattle Times, Town Hall Seattle and Pacific Lutheran University. I'm now back at The Seattle Times, as associate editor of its gorgeously glossy Pacific NW magazine. I've been a volunteer at the Washington Soldiers Home and Colony in Orting, Washington, since January 2009, and I am still a remedial videographer.   

     

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